"I Don't Know" written by Devin Gackle, May 2015

There's a lot of confusion in this song. I wrote this earlier this year, and I chose it particularly for this week because now it also means something else to me. (So I guess there's more than one meaning. It's almost creepy, how my songs keep doing that).

So basically, this song has multiple meanings, and therefore it could mean anything to you. That kind of goes with no knowing, I guess.

This song is about the confusion of life; the decisions we make, the risks we do or don't take, the things we say and do, the changes we embrace or deny, whether or not we let go, etc. It's about wondering if we did or will do the right thing, and about wondering what will make us happy. Does it, will it, matter in the end?

How do you know what the right thing to do is, or what will make you happy? Are we giving the future too much credit, and not focusing enough on the present?

It's hard to know. When people ask us the tough questions, "I don't know" becomes an almost automatic response. I know from experience that indecisiveness often comes from fear-- the fear of making the wrong decision, the fear you'll hurt someone, the fear that if you try something new you won't like it. The list could go on.

So maybe ask yourself, really: Why don't I know? Is it really that hard, or is it simple and I'm just overthinking it? If you're afraid, is it possible to overcome that fear--is it worth facing that fear to get what's on the other side?

Lyrics:

I'm afraid, I'm afraid it'll go all wrong

I have wait, I have waited for so long

For today, just for today feel our heartbeat song

Is it safe, is it too late, is it gone

Oh, I don't know

I don't know

I don't know

If I stay, if I stayed would it make a difference

What would it take, what would it take to break down our defenses

Just be brave, just be brave, it could change in an instant

Yeah it could change, so come what may, awaken all our senses

Oh, I don't know

I don't know

I don't know, whoa

If there's a way, if there's a way, would you want to take it

Oh, I just don't know

I don't know

I don't know

I don't know

I don't know, whoa