“Demons” written by Devin Gackle, July 2015

Demons. We’ve all got ’em. Inner, outer, personal, maybe not so personal. Some are harder to face than others. And while you can put your demons into this song and let them out, for me this song is about depression.

Depression can seem like a demon itself: it lies, it drags you down, it hurts you. A sort of vampire that sucks life out of you bit by bit. In a nutshell, it is a destructive, complicated creature.

Side note: The “you” in this song could be interpreted however you want—it could be a person who betrayed or abandoned you, it could be the demon that lied. Or perhaps a combination of both.

I do my best to explain what depression can be like for me personally. The chorus of this song repeats a longing to escape from the demons; it’s the only sort of positive part. I mean for it to express a desire to fight, maybe a cry for help. Sometimes it’s hard to ask for help, or to talk to someone because I don’t want to feel like a burden, or because I’m afraid no one will understand. It’s a common occurrence.

Fun fact: This whole song came to me because of the first line, “the bloody nose of defeat,” which just show you the power of a misreading. When watching the movie Begin Again, during the song Coming Up Roses, there’s a line that goes “the blur that knows a defeat,” and I originally heard it as “the bloody nose of defeat.” When later learning to play the song, I discovered the real lyric and immediately determined I must use the misheard phrase in a song of my own. So it only took me like 15 minutes to write this song because it just started playing in my head after that.

Other fun fact: The line “the tugging of my thread” refers to the thread of life controlled by the Fates in Greek mythology. I minored in Greek and Roman studies in college, so I’m kind of a nerd that way.

In the end, I mostly intend for this song to be a message that I am trying. It’s a lot to get through, and sometimes it’s really hard, but I am fighting. And I hope that others who feel like I do find some comfort and courage in this song. I hope we all remember it’s worth it to fight.

Lyrics:

This aching in my head is the bloody nose of defeat

Sometimes I wish I was dead; there’s a future I can’t see

Can’t forget what you said; you push and pull ’til I scream

Those words I thought you meant; with your hand in mine I believed

I just want to break free from these demons

I am trying to see outside of these demons

The voices in my head reach inside me and cut deep

They told me while I slept I will never be redeemed

This glaring emptiness is the shallow pool of grief

The tugging of my thread tells me I have been deceived

I just want to break free from these demons

I am trying to see outside of these demons

I can’t feel you

I can’t feel you

Now I am all that’s left and your memory leaves me weak

I just want to break free from these demons

I am trying to see outside of these demons

I just want to break free from these demons

I am trying to see outside of these demons

Demons

Demons