"Driftless" written by Devin Gackle, Spring 2012

Sometimes I feel kind of lost-- but lost isn't the right word. That's why I love the word driftless. It's the right kind of lost.

To me it feels like there is still certainty about life, and where it's going. But something feels off, or missing, and it makes you wonder, where is it really going?

Maybe, like me, you feel a wanderlust. You don't need to escape, you just need to go. Or maybe you've lost someone, temporarily, permanently, or status unknown, and suddenly everything is surreal. Maybe you're re-learning who you are; maybe you're finally learning to love yourself.

I wanted this song to capture driftlessness. The feeling of not being able to help looking back to the past, not sure you can trust the future; being stuck in the present, like a tug of war. Too many thoughts crowding your head.

But you can't let go of past lies and truths and thoughts. They mean too much.

But why? That was yesterday, today is today. Isn't it?

Being stuck in between decisions of the past and future is confusing, and driftlessness takes over; if feels a little nostalgic, bittersweet. It feels homey and distant at the same time. Like you have to do something but you don't know what.

I'm not sure how valid my advice might be, but I suggest thinking less about the past, and more about today. More about tomorrow. Be decisive about where you want your life to go, find what makes you happy, learn to trust again, learn to love yourself; you'll stop drifting. And on the other side is peace.

Lyrics:

I feel like I'm running against the wind

Like every light ahead is turning red

This time I can't just turn it off

When I'd rather run away instead

'Cause a piece of my heart still remembers you

And I don't want to let it go

I can't count all the million times

I believed in a million lies

When I really should have known, oh

I know I'll never change the past

But I can't help looking back

For every broken road

Somehow the days turned into years

The nights feel ever long, another summer gone

But time is lost along the way

And I can't make up for what's been done

'Cause a piece of my heart still longs for you

And I don't want to let it go

I can't count all the million times

I believed in a million lies

When I really should have known, oh

I know I'll never change the past

But I can't help looking back

For every broken road

How many times do I have to tell you goodbye

You're still singing the same old song

And I'm still waiting for you to prove me wrong

'Cause a piece of my heart still waits for you

And I don't want to let it go

I can't count all the million times

I believed in a million lies

When I really should have known, oh

I know I'll never change the past

But I can't help looking back

For every broken road

I can't count all the million times

I looked up at the evening sky

And watched the silent stars

I know mistakes can't be erased

So I'll let the pieces fall in place

To mend this driftless heart