"Pushover" written by Devin Gackle, May 2015
I bet you can take a wild guess why I wrote this song.
Sometimes I have a hard time telling people no; I don't want them to feel rejected. It's a part of caring too much what other people think of me. In a nutshell, this song is about how I know I can be pushover, but I'm trying not to be.
In a way, it's also a message: I don't need saving. No one needs to take care of me, or deal with my problems. Sometimes people want to; sometimes it's done out of love; sometimes it's done simply because it's the right thing.
But I don't want anyone to ever feel obligated to do something. I don't want to be resented for something that's not my fault. So despite how it might seem sometimes, I can take care of myself. I'm sorry if anyone has ever felt obligated to care for me, or like they didn't have a choice.
You always have a choice. To care or not to care, to deal with it or ignore it, to resent it or not resent it, to let people step all over you or not.
I wrote this song because those choices should be simple, but they're not. Feelings are complicated, and life is hard, but despite all that, we still stand.
I wrote this song to say that I am here, and I am strong. I'm not going anywhere. If you push I'll push back. Because I care. Because I deal with it instead of ignoring it, because I don't resent what's been done to me, I don't blame others for my own feelings.
You can do your best to push me over. But I'll just get back up.
Lyrics:
I'm so pathetic
I just can't think straight
And these eyes that stare back at me, they don't pretend
You just don't get it
I can't escape this haze
And I wake up having trouble breathing
But I can't believe that you will save me
You're right
I'm nothing but a pushover who can't seem to get out of her head
You're wrong
I'm stronger than I look and I'm not finished with you yet
I'm in denial
And I've just been waiting
For this heart of mine to make amends
It's been a while
And I can't take this
When will this heart that beats for you beat again
No I can't believe that you will save me
You're right
I'm nothing but a pushover who can't seem to get out of her head
You're wrong
I'm stronger than I look and I'm not finished with you yet
I'm so pathetic
I'm so pathetic
I won't forget it
But I don't need you to come and save me
You're right
I'm nothing but a pushover who can't seem to get out of her head
You're wrong
I'm stronger than I look and I'm not finished with you yet
No I don't need you to come and save me